4 years
x
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When will it be my turn to find love. I’ve been waiting and trying to get you to notice me. It worked… we talk sometimes and we’re friends now. Everytime you send me something randomly it makes it a million times harder to get over you because it restores that hope. That hope that you could possibly like me back. I feel like my life is a mess. I know it really isn’t that bad. But I just wanna feel whole again. I need to get caught up on work, I need to keep excelling at swimming, and I need to keep going to the gym. I want enough time to help my parents more and maybe get more sleep. I don’t know how to manage it all better. how do i juggle this all while my mental health plummets. Which causes my physical health to go down a bit. I’m building it back up though… God I just wish there was more time in the day, but there’s not. So I will just have to s*** it up and tough it out for a bit longer. Catch up on school for sure. Get that stress off my back. Then I will be able to manage my days with a bit more ease. I’m becoming so negative and cynical and I hate it. I want to be nice and more positive but it feels so hard with my mental state and situation. I feel like a disappointment to my family and to myself. They told me I am not a disappointment but it feels like I am letting myself down. i’ve never been this behind in school. I mean, 22 english assignments, 9 biology, and 11 history? Who am I? WHat happened to me. What am I doing? I need to stop being so hard on myself but I think in conclusion I just need a long, reassuring hug that I am not going to get….

New Confession

It was her fantasy, not mine, i was just the trusted friend who made it come true for her. Now i stood aside looking at her bare body bound to the bed, as if a reproduction of a crucifixion. Ankles and knees bond togerther tightly, a wand v******* positioneemd clamped between her thighs, silently waiting to be turned on when it was over and they were gone. Her wrists bound with rope under the bed leaving her hands and fingers free. Hooded so she could not see them ans they could not identify her. Gagged so she was not tempted. As i handled the video for her memories, they entered and disrobed as she lay there trembling. Fear, anticipation, cold, all of it. They took their turns standing and placing their goods in her hands as she felt the reality of them and helped get them ready. In turn in twos and threes and more every inch of her bare skin caressed by warm hard male flesh leavijng clear sticky streaks the length of her from cheeks to the tops of her feet. She writhed as it happened, leaving her covered jn their pleasure and their bladders and by the end she was fighting to grind her hips against the silent wand still in olace. Eventually all 10 men were empty and took their keave. As she had requested i gently rubbed it all into her skin as she sauirmed and moaned, i did not stop as she writhed in the puddle aroind her as her body, drenched and reeking of them, was shaking in the pool of their fluids in the depression her body made in the sheet plastic. She was as ready as i could vet her. I downloaded the video to her laptop, set it on the bed by her head, gently removed the hood and turned the wand on and left. This part did not need me. I waited the hour she had specified, then returned. I did my best to keep from looking and pay no attention to her spent twitching and her hips still moving. Neither of us had anticipated a sudden final weak o***** as being seen like this triggered. I untied her and left her as promised despite how weak she seemed. Hours later she texted me asking me to come over. She thanked me for doing this for her as she sat curled up in a robe hugging her coffee mug, not that i think it held only coffee. She said if i was willing she wanted to ezperience it again ans other things like it. She teased asking if i wanted a copy of the video. I told her to remember i had witnessed it. She agreed but said maybe i wanted to watch it and j*******. That actually pissed me off a little and i asked her if she was so sure i had not been participating? The shock in her face was priceless before she realized she would have known from the video. I told her next time maybe i would surprise her and she would not know until seeing the video when it would be too late. Her expression waa unreadable when i left.

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