They say women often go for the toxic guys and I can’t deny that, I’ve gone down that path myself. Not that I had anyone except a toxic guy as an option but I went for it nonetheless. While he wasn’t everything I ever wanted, he had that spontaneity, he had that passion, he had that obsession with me. We could laugh over a beer and we could lie in bed, higher than the clouds. He was all that but he wasn’t right for me, or anyone perhaps. I redeemed myself and I’m proud of that. I went for the good guy this time. He’s nothing I wanted. If I were the sun, he’d be Neptune, billions of kilometres away. He gave me more pain than I could’ve thought. He is all that but he doesn’t lack is love and respect. He isn’t the guy I wanted, a guy who can express so well that the biggest poets would be jealous but he’s a guy whose soft touch makes everything melt into a wift of smoke. His gentleness is a medicine to my gaping wounds. He makes me believe in the existence of pure love. I saw chats with my ex today and I realised how dumb I was and I saw pictures with my current boyfriend today and I realised how lucky I was. He isn’t what I wanted but he’s the one who’s good for me.