3 years
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When I die I want it to really hurt before I go I don’t want to die in peace, not because I feel I deserve to die in pain but because I never knew what it’s like to want to live and be afraid of dying. I feel like that would give me that feeling even if only for a moment. Everyday of my life I can remember I haven’t been afraid of dying and have been fairly content with the thought and yearning for it to come via a outside force. When that day comes for me, may it be by my hands or another I want it to be painful.

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