Yeah, I’m still floored at that :). That over a (pathetic) 8 years where I tried harder than anything in my entire life just to get her to speak to me again. Please just speak to me, say something. Your killing me, times come and go, vale.times day, my birthday, I would get a single happy birthday from anyone but maybe family, and I didn’t even want to hear it. I tried harder than anything at life ever, to fix me (which is a positive thing for me too, it made the fight at least worth it) AND get this woman who we had a relationship in real life for years, deep in ways too, undeniable deep given where it started, this wasn’t online, this was real, I believed in it, and I tried my god damndest to get her to speak with me, let’s forgive because it definitely wasn’t wasn’t good either way, let’s forgive and be sorry, but change and be something. I tried so hard, seriously in many ways, practically, I need a job and be a more of a man, carry myself, and do you know what I got in 8 years, until I faced facts, could not go on any further like this, apologized to her, walked and wiped it out of my mind. Gave up. And I don’t feel the same. I know I don’t have a right to resent, she’s not in the wrong. Heartless, stone cold, but not in the wrong. I did that while being seriously bashed by people on her side who were opposed. It did turn me more into a man and I wod never allow anything to happen again between her and I. That’s a cold woman. I’m afraid of her but I also resent for it. Even though it was justified. That hurt and angered me, which is why, I suffered? Yeah I did, so anyone who ever had any input with the “situation” is f****** dead to me. You are out, and never getting back in here either. That’s no loss to me. I didn’t go through that for you. You’re done. I was mentally drained from that. Drained. It’s what makes me so difficult now. I don’t f*** around. Yeah? No? Yes great, No alright, I love you, you’re beautiful…. Uh, bye? And I forget it. I give them love and then leave them alone to think about it. And they do think about it. Thiss not me being a “narcissist” or consider arrogant. I have
