I swear I’m not one of those Americans who thinks America is the best country or anything, but there’s a woman I used to be friends with who annoys the s*** out of me. She’s from Europe and she was always super snotty about it. The food was so much better in Europe, people in America hate anyone who is different from them (which is pretty hard, given that we’re a pretty damn diverse country), everyone in the US is so racist, blah blah blah. But you know what? All she saw was hate whenever she looked at people, and she was super judgmental. Everyone was too fat! All men were supposedly hitting on her! Everyone was lazy, sloppy, uneducated, stupid. All women were trying to pick fights with her. And, of course, NO ONE in her home country is supposedly like that (any of the above, take your pick).

But it was SUCH a big deal that she get US citizenship, because supposedly the economy was just absolutely shot in her home country. America was the only country where she could successfully have a career! I even questioned her at the time, but when she insisted, I let it go. Because that is what friends do.

Welp, the US has hit an odd time. I don’t think any of us, liberal or conservative, love the way the things are going right now. Families have been torn apart, friendships ended. Colleagues and neighbors have turned on each other over politics. People are talking about civil war.

She texts me today telling me she’s looking for transportable jobs she can take with her so she can go back to her home country.

You know what? Good. You’re part of the problem, the kind of person who can’t just let well enough alone. Go back to your f****** country and be their problem. By the way, your business will never take off because you have the social skills of a lemur hyped up on crystal meth. You were very pretty 10 years ago, but even then, no one could f****** stand you, because you’re a jerk.

Hasta la vista, b****.