this summer i started my first job and i’m happy and all and i understand that i should consider myself very lucky but at the same time i feel a bit sad and maybe even scared. this summer went by so fast and i missed going on trips with my cousins and doing alot of other things i would normally do in summer. I am a type of person who doesn’t enjoy change but can deal with it. i feel like i’m growing up too fast or maybe im just scared to grow up. i feel like i need more time as a kid and as i move through the grades in high school everyone seems to be asking about things i never realized i needed to think about like what i want to do and where i want to go in life. to be honest im not even sure if im thinking as an adult who has to go into the real world alone soon when i think about my dream job. im not sure what i want anymore. i go to my books and music to hide from everything outside even though i say it’s bc i enjoy it, i realize i start doing them more bc they make me forget about everything and take me back to how things were. damn this was long but to sum it up im confused and im not sure if i have enough time to figure out myself and everthing around me