I’m 27 and I wrote a Will recently Messages to all of the people who I wanted to say my last words to. I’m not sure what came over me. Maybe it’s that I’ve always had suicide drifting in the back of my head. I’ve always stared at a bottle of pain killers wondering how many would it take and what would it feel like during that process. Then I wondered what if I some how wake up from it. And it,ll take even more next time. I think my ideal way would be to take caught meds, get drowsy, take a bunch of pain killers and finish it off with melatonin. Go into the bathroom, hop in the shower and just sit there until I fade away. Anyways, I wrote the Will in case if anything happens to me and I won’t have any regrets not being able to say goodbye. I decided to tell my bf about this and he laughed at me thinking I was ridiculous and being over dramatic. I lashed out in anger bc I rather be angry than hurt. Then, he got upset and said he was too tired to deal with me and went into his room, turned off the light, shut his door and slept. It just seemed like he got mad because i got mad at him for not being more sensitive about it. He doesnt see what he did wrong because im over reacting. I’ve been crying since. He hasn’t come out, i dont think he cares. I don’t know if that was a sign. I’m just waiting now. They say suicide is selfish and the easy way out, but is it? Isn’t it what everyone tell you to me growing up? You gotta be selfish, this is your left. Care for you self, first and foremost. And easy way out. I’ve been feeling wish way since I was 7, it hasn’t been easy. My boyfriend is tired and so am I. It’s just like sleep right?