5 years
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I’m sure. Why the hell would you do that for HER? She’s alright…. Actually you know what, she is not even alright. She was ALRIGHT in 2001, but a serious b****. She can’t be much of a prize now. Stupid really. I would like to say, if she had just stuck with me, or came back to me fairly quickly when I started to fix myself, kept me sane, gave (and took) some support, we would have been gold right now. She drove me insane. She left me, and then drove me insane. I would like to say that, but she would be the tone to build a guy up and then kill him for the insurance. I would have been better off, much better off, had I stayed away from her. My life and myself would be much more than it is now. I don’t give a f*** about her now. Haven’t in some time. Not in a good way. I would never have participated in that. The flying monkey s***. That’s not worth anything.

And that’s the thing I just don’t see any reason to want to go back to anything, not just her. It’s just not one of those things I feel an urge to do. I have no desire for it.

People push for it in different ways, not just her, just not me. I don’t ever ouclsh for it. Ever. I’m just laying it down bluntly. I don’t really care to be around any of that s*** she associates herself with. Personally. And I don’t need to either. It’s not a conflict of interesting in my daily life. I’m either lucky or I’m around like minded people. That’s the way I want to keep it. That’s all weird s*** that I don’t have anything in common with and let’s be real…. As much as I don’t want to be around it, it don’t want to be around me either. I won’t have it. By “it” I mean any of it.

What I need is a woman who is not a loose cannon who discriminates to a point and at the same time, couldn’t be bothered to be so “adventurous”. Not a social justice warrior mentality. I’d be a prick anyway. You don’t want to be around me. She doesn’t. I don’t think I couldn’t be an a****** but it’s just because I don’t want to be around her or anything connected to her. I couldn’t be bothered. I don’t want to be there. You know what I mean? It’s almost impatience. I would rather be some place else. I don’t want to be there. I don’t take anything serious. I’m irritable. It’s distaste. I dislike. Not much could change that now. Its too late by about a decade. Times change. People change. I don’t want what I wanted then.

I am a straight middle aged white man, and I don’t care to be around that f***** s***. Any of it. That includes people In once knew. Maybe even called friend at one time.

New Confession

Dad helped me get the floor and one wall built on my tree house using planks that were cracked or broken in the alleyway and coral when I was six. Over the next 5 years my year younger sister, occasionally Dad and I had built and rebuilt a 10′ x 16′ floor on 2 trees and a 8′ x 10′ tree fort with bricks from an old chimney and fire place from a burned down cabin. The walls were only 7′ tall on the front and 5′ on the back. The third year we had the fireplace half built when Dad came by on a tractor. He climbed up to see what we were doing and took it apart. He redid it with red bricks on the floor using mortar building a complete wall and fireplace. He didn’t make it to the field that day and part of the next, Sissy was siting on him a lot and I saw his hand on her crotch a few times. Dad didn’t help vey much with the walls and 2 windows but helped with the roof the next year. I was 10 with the coolest tree fort my friend ever saw. Every fire we lit in the fireplace smoked us out. The last year dad worked on it I was 11, he put glass doors on the fireplace , built a set of bunk beds and installed a real door. Sissy and Dad worked on it without me several times when I wasn’t at home. When we decided to name it and my a sign Sissy insisted it was named after her so Dad made a sign Sissy’s Hideaway. When I got off the school Bus I saw smoke coming from the chimney, I knew Sissy had stayed home sick. I ran to the Treehouse to see what she was doing. The Tractor was parked on the road, She was naked with Dad. I could see the way she was straddled on top half of his C0ck was half way inside her. I watched till Dad pulled out shoot c um on her back, then sneaked back down to the house. Mom came home from her part time job at our small town IGA 2 hours later but Dad and Sissy beat her home by 20 minutes. My sister was stocky and a little chubby so I did a few accidental backhand b*** feels and she seemed to like it. I went for an under shirt full B*** feel when we had got up before mom to watch cartoons, she looked at me curiously then smiled. Within a couple weeks of feeling b**** I put my hand inside her p******, she stopped me when I tried to put my finger in her cr ack but left my hand where it was at. It took another month before she let me work fingers inside her but it was that day we went to the Tree Fort and she took my Virginity a few days after my 12th birthday. We(Dad and Sissy some times too) used the Tree House Till she got the boyfriend she’ still married to a year before I went into he Army. When Dad died me and Sissy went up in the Treehouse, lit a fire and cleaned it up well enough to spend the night in a single sleeping bag.

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