I often dream of a world where I killed my father simply because he pisses me off often and refuses to respect anyone who isn’t rich, “hard working” (i.e. rich), and owns a successful business (i.e. rich). He values his bland experience over people who have lived their life and are open to learning and growing instead of staying stagnant. I believe that his life cut off would be the best for my immediate family’s mental health. Living on eggshells and questioning his morality despite his self-proclaimed devotion to Jesus makes me eager to hold kitchen knives around him and visualizing other household objects as weapons of destruction. However, I know that murdering him would not only be a one-way ticket to hell, but an extreme act of selfishness. My mom still loves him (questionable) and we depend on his income to live and go to college. Yet I believe in my heart a life where I get to spend time with people who see me as a person is a life better lived than being forced into submission of ignorance. After all we’re all living life on a floating rock on infinite space. Nothing here is serious. Why let other people suffer for our own self pleasure and ego.

If you’re curious, I fantasize about using knives, shovels, rakes, toasters, lightbulbs, graduation cords, beer bottles, and just hooking my finger in his eye and pulling from behind his nose bridge (learned that in a self-defense class)