So I’m talking to myself here because I’m sure at this point even the trolls I have scared away… The night that you got pissed and ended up on the couch was the night that whole thing happened where he wanted to go to the beach and have some fun and again like I’ll be the first person to say it Nothing was ever pressured on me it was not repeat yes he took it out but he put it back when I asked him to and you guys technically weren’t dating at the time so I guess it really wasn’t cheating I think I was already kind of just so upset thinking oh my god my best friend hates me like I said he had a miserable f****** night because that’s what he had to listen to over and over You were asleep on the couch The kid was in his bed so the only option left is to share a bed with him and I felt weird but not because of him I don’t think he’s a r***** I believe that I mean you probably would’ve even slept on the floor if I asked him to it was just like again that whole thing I have about childhood s***** abuse and feeling weird about being touched by a man I don’t know and so it was like I didn’t know what to do so I went to the couch and stayed up all night and then I tried to take Adderall in the morning to wake up that was a bad idea and the rest of the day went downhill from there my point is I’m not saying he did anything wrong And I feel bad he kind of just got mixed up in the whole situation obviously what’s done is done and not fixable but if I had the chance to be able to say that to him or apologize to him I would Would probably obviously can’t. I don’t think he’s a bad guy. The next day basically I hadn’t slept I had taken Adderall to keep myself up so of course that made me completely mentally fucked and cranky and probably mean I can’t remember what was going on but I remember Him basically taking me to the bar not to cheat or hit on me or do anything like that honestly he could see that you were getting pissed and you needed to be left alone so he’s like I’m gonna take you out to this bar and we’re gonna have a couple drinks and just leave her be and that his intention was not at all to do something behind your back that he shouldn’t of neither was mine literally I think he just wanted to get me to shut the f*** up and then you were invited there and just I guess thought it was something that it wasn’t. I grew up also having a s*** fit and out of me every day I also had an ex-boyfriend just FYI they did the same thing to me is S beat me so bad at one point I asked he actually fractured my skull that’s why am hard of hearing…So not to make you feel bad but just so you understand why when you reacted like that I probably Freaked out and had a complete meltdown and honestly you had every right to feel pissed and angry and maybe I deserve to have my a** kicked at that point freaked out and had a complete meltdown and honestly you had every right to feel pissed and angry and maybe I deserve to have my a** kicked at that point I’m not a day at the beach I don’t deny that I think I just had no idea how to handle it and rather than listen to what he was trying to tell me just like leave her the f*** alone back off I kept basically approaching you trying to “fix the problem well oh I sure fixed it didn’t mine I’m not a day at the beach I don’t deny that I think I just I had no idea how to handle it and rather than listen to what he was trying to tell me just like leave her the f*** alone back off I kept basically approaching you trying to “fix the problem well I sure fixed it did i

So like I’ve never really been violent Towards people but I have had episodes believe me where I have like posted things on you know well you saw so I’m not like to judge you for that or hold that against you would be completely hypocritical like I get it sometimes s*** just happens and then you don’t even realize it until it’s done the damage that you did but for whatever it’s worth and even though we probably will never see or talk again I really would never hold that against you one because I probably deserved an a** kicking at that point and two because I get it that’s why I have no friends either well close ones because I have episodes too many less than stellar moments I get it. And that really doesn’t take away honestly would’ve really good and amazing person that I know that you are