My stepmother came into my life right before puberty started for me. My mother died when i was 5 (car crash) and my dad did the best he could on his own. Stepmother was great as well. I dont remember or know at what point a dynamic of what i will call functional began it was sort of background noise. My dad’s job had him travelling constantly so stepmother was primary caretaker for me. I suppose sometimes it seemed like it was she and i against the world with my dad along the way for the ride lol. Anyway as i got older into my teens it was stepmother as my guiding light and who i learned many things about life from including “the talk” when she noticed i seemed anxious or distracted, and she got me to open up and talk about my confusion and what my body was going through. She played it well and made sure i knew she was there for me and to trust in what she described as my body ” figuring itself out”, something i realized as an adult was simply about trying to get me to not worry so much. I began to dream of her in ways that confused me but i was embarassed to tell her about them. Eventually my body forced the issue when i woke up from my first w********. I was terrfied and thought something was physically wrong with that part of me. I was freaked out by waking up on my stomach with a sticky puddle under me and woke her up scared half to death. When she saw what i was talking about on my bedsheet she got me calmed down helped me change my bed and and sat on the toilet while she had me shower to clean up then had me sleep next to her the rest of the night. No matter how she tried though she could not get me over the fear of it happening again so she had me sleep with her nightly simply to comfort and console me. It was months before it happened again and it took a lot of talking to get me able to say that the fuzzy dream was about her. She tried to assure me it was natural and not to be ashamed. But that reoccurence was pivotal. She told me that there was a way to make it not happen in my sleep and freak out so much or feel ashamed but that i needed to trust her guidance completely. A few days later she explained thst it was embarassing to admit but that any male going thru puberty has explicit dreams about some woman in his day to day life but she was not upset that she was the dream subject. She had to push me to get me to explain w******** specifics. She listened and told me those things were all normal. After that talk she left me for a moment then called me to the bathroom. I was stunned to see her in her bra and p****** and telling me to get in the shower with her. She calmly talked me through that experience, gently instructing me in how to explore and learn to give my body pleasure. She talked me thru the fear as my pleasure was so intense and i stopped and told her i was afraid of how it felt and that i was going to pee, and she took my hands in hers and gently pushed me past the fear amd thru that first waking climax by using her hands on my hands. I was freaked out and still fearful so she took charge held me tightly against her and used her hand to push me over the edge and hold me thru it telling me it was ok, just let it happen. I could barely stay on my feet without her holding me up and calming me down. She