On 20th august 2013 It was my school’s welcome party when I passed 3rd grade with 2nd position. For the first time I was so excited and was looking great my section was changed from A to B therefore I was in section B of 4th grade and totally unknown friends some of them were my mutual of A section. I was good in studies too. The party was about to end and 2 hours before the actual party began when the whole school started dancing and I can’t see them dancing due to the teachers not allowing me to stand or come forward near the stage of dancers. I was quite due to the nonsense that I can’t enjoy and then I saw a guy staring at me as I looked at him he turned away his face. In a good black suit and good looking. He was biting his lips I stopped looking at him as to make him feel less weird.The party ended I went back to my home. Days passed and I can see that guy roaming at school looking at me I ignored him as usual on daily basis. I started giving interest in him. He talked about me to his close friends which I heard accidentally and felt expression less days passed I started giving interest in him. I usually attend class 4 days a week a leave was must for me in a week and that lead me to be a careless student. After a month I was called by my teacher due to incomplete work sadly in his class where he saw me as a careless person.
In 4th grade’s final semester I felt unique by him he started teasing me. I started smiling a lot. His face was like that and I liked it. I went mad on him badly. His face was like a sun without him there was no morning and without him I hated school he was giving 8th grade’s final examination and I was giving 4th grade’s final examination. I finally passed my 4th grade without position for the first time he passed his 8th grade with 2nd position. I never told my friends that I have any crush. Even my close friends left me I was alone that time and I didn’t share this to someone new that I don’t knew. It was hard to keep that thing to me.
Now in 5th grade I tried really hard to not to compromise on my studies on any case as I was disappointed with my result. The best thing was that I was not fashionable and that saved me from principal’s punishment. The classes changed and sections were given to 5th grade for the first time as my class had so many students I was again in the section B that was in front of 9th grade which was his class and now he can see my activity very well. My class teacher was new and I showed good progress in studies and my teacher was impressed so she given me two choices to become anyone of them either a class head or a diary in charge and I accepted to be a diary in charge as I didn’t have the energy to deal my class’s activities and of its students my other friend who was my close friend in 2nd grade became the head and we were ordered to sit together that grew our friendship again but I didn’t tell now I can hear the voices of that guy singing songs throwing jokes coming to my class with no reason sometimes from the window of the class he stares at me. One day after the school ended I was in my class doing diary and stuff and suddenly my teacher who was checking notebooks of 9th grade called me to call him and his one more friend I opened the door of 9th as there were 2 doors one was opening in our class and one was opening in the backside ground that was actual entrance of 9th class and the door to my class stays closed sometimes well I opened the door I didn’t knew his name but my teachers told me two names I didn’t know which one was his so I said saying both the names the teacher is calling you and he came to closer to me singing a song I can’t understand that was actually a song or something useless but it was rhyming on his lips. I was hella confused totally out of that scenario two of his friends were present there in his class he didn’t stop singing whatever it was and I couldn’t stopped myself to stay normal not blank but he was nearer to my throat and he walked away after 6 or 7 seconds. I realized what he is actually up to and I was actually up to that thing too. I lost my interest in everything it was just him not even my family , studies , health or self respect my every view was cleared my father was called for the behavior I was having at studies and other activities which was feeling less I knew only one thing it was him to him till him. I totally got mad around him without showing I was out of my control after that thing I wanted him but I only had one year left and then I told the whole story to one of my close friend used to sit with me when she got to know I like that person. I was removed as a diary in charge due to loss in progress.Final exams of 5th grade started I cleared exams with great loss my family was mad at me. He passed his prelims and I was happy about him. But no disappointments for my own self was felt I didn’t knew that I have lost my interest in studies.
Months after when new session started when I was in 6th grade as a careless student I was happy that now there are no sections but sad that our class has changed and now I can’t see him nearer to me. I was very bad . bad and worst kind of bad in studies. That teachers started bullying me and due to this I skipped school for 1 and a half month and my family was upset and I didn’t know what am I doing but I can’t tolerate my teachers and those day were horrible without him. My father was called again and now I was given one day to come to school or to leave school otherwise. But I went to school after so many days with guilt in my eyes but for the sake of my studies and to see him again and to feel good. My life was bad those days but I was happy even after knowing this that I have ruined my studies and my future just for that one person.It is still unbelievable knowing that I passed through that class and don’t know how it passed but now life is changed a lot more he was busy in studies as it was 10th grade for him he was preparing himself for higher education. And for the first time I heard him saying to one of his close friend ” I like that girl who smiles a lot and usually stays absent in school ” he didn’t know I heard it but I smiled and walked away and rush towards my friend who knows this secret of mine to tell her that he likes me.
His prelims started and he passed and wasn’t coming to school and my finals were happening during that time I missed my Math paper as I wasn’t prepared. But I gave my exams. Without his presence the school seemed boring and more useless. On average I was promoted to 7th but I kept waiting for him that when will he show up just to meet the teachers and school staff for the last time and to collect his mark sheet. I kept waiting for too long even in holidays before new session. Unfortunately my father decided to change my school and now it was cleared that now I can’t see him ever I started studying in new school from seventh I started my social life in 8th grade after 1 year without seeing him and I searched him on social media for the first time and found him on FB first it was 2017 after two years I saw his face but not in reality just in his pictures and after a lot of research I found he was with another girl (his girlfriend) who is with him since may of 2016 I felt broken and sad my whole life became a joke that someone who stood with you or was seeking your attention for 3 years and saying this that he likes you just found someone to love after 3 months when our school ended I was broken too much and I still am I can’t tell what I feel but it is real and I haven’t seen him yet. And I can’t believe I was in LOVE with him even after six years with him he can’t do the same to me. And that he can’t be mine but can fool me and seek my attention whenever he wants. I can’t hate him even that he has done so much bad to me. It was my first experience with love and it is too bad that I can’t love anyone now.Like ever.