I’ve never confessed before but here I go. I’m 16 and truly fucked in the head.
I’m ugly and unattractive but I know I’ve got a good personality…nobody is attracted to be ever and I know I’ll never get a boyfriend . I’m s******* mature I think, I know a lot and I m*********, have done since a young age. I was molested/s******* abused when I was about 5 I think. It’s foggy but it’s still there. It was my oldest brother who doesn’t live with us. He made me touch his p**** and lick it, that’s my clearest memory but I know he did things other times I guess I just blocked it out. Craziest thing is, I didn’t say stop or feel bad for it I just did what he asked me to. He said it was our secret and I was so happy he wanted to spend time with me for once. We still talk and he has a son now but we never speak of ‘it’. I think it’s what made me have an interest in s** and p*** and just the body in a s***** way. I know I’m messed up…I don’t know what I feel.

I know that I’m worthless and insecure and awful…I’m trying to be something but it seems no matter what I’m still the awkward ugly girl and everyone else is better. Oh well.