8 years
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You, always so savage, just can’t seem to stop roasting me, can’t you? I don’t know what was wrong with me today. Sitting next to you beside the piano seemed so fricking unreal, as you threw me insult after insult that was supposed to make me mad. Idiot.. Somehow I didn’t get angry, and somehow, stupidly, your voice made my heart beat so darn fast. You just became my co-pianist for church service, making me so distracted when I had you right next to me, watching me play the piano and waiting for your turn. You’re the skillful one here, you have wayy more experience with piano than I do, making me feel so talentless when I compare myself with you.. Pretty sure that I’m boosting your already huge ego here, right? Today was a tough day… One of the songs that the church group was supposed to sing took so long for them to learn, so I had to play it for them over and over again. You probably could tell that I was pretty frustrated when I had to play that verse for the ninth time.. That moment when you stood up from your chair beside me and just left without even looking at me sort of hurt. I thought that you probably think that I’m stupid or that you got impatient with me or something. What surprised me was that moment when you came back a few minutes later with two bottles of water and threw me one without even saying anything. I watched as you opened your water bottle and drank from it, your eyes pretty emotionless. That smirk you gave me though, made me wanna strangle you, but I didn’t. Jeez, I know that I was rude for staring, but you caught me off guard for that nice gesture. You know, I was very, very relieved when my parts were finally done and it was finally your turn. I literally had to refrain myself from giving you a slap on the head when we switched seats, you know? I admit, I’m a little amazed by your skills when you started playing the piano keys. This is your… 10th year playing the piano? Damn, for me, it’s only about 4, which you already know. WHY ON EARTH DID YOU HAVE THAT OBNOXIOUS SMIRK ON YOUR FACE THAT ENTIRE TIME? What made me wanna kill you was the fact that you said “Do you get it?” to me, when I watched you play the song in your own complicated version. Geez, you’re a fricking show off.. To you, I’m probably just a girl who you have to work with every weekend. But I can’t get you out of my brain.. Fudge, I guess I like you. Yes, the girl who you have roast battles with, the girl who calls you an “idiot”, and the girl who you call a “moron” is in love with you…. But you probably don’t feel the same way.

New Confession

My art therapist/group therapist and I were having an illegal affair. I would write secret messages to her and she would read them and respond to them in person. She would do favors i asked of her, like wearing outfits i asked her to wear, she’d even do me s***** favors. I made her a google drive full of p*** of me and then crafted a puzzle link to get to it that only she could have known. The link was a tinyurl with three phrases in the url that only she could have known. We would walk for an hour every day and swing at the park. I would write her poetry and play love songs for her every day. She broke the rules to play mario kart with me constantly when her boss was out. We had something magical. But she would never communicate directly with me because sge was afraid she’d lose her liscence to practice and her boyfriend and house, abd when I pushed her to unmask and be real, she told me I was wasting my time. Well that pissed me off and I crashed out a little abd she used that crash out to get me kicked out of my group therapy program. She wants out and I told her she’s not allowed to want out. I told her If she doesn’t reach out to me and continue this affair, that i will report her and get her liscence taken away and if that doesn’t work ill find some other way to ruin her life. You dont go from gooning in the bathroom at work to someone to throwing them away in the same week. Thats fucked. I’ll post her name here soon if she stays quiet and doesn’t reach out to me.

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