its bewildering how smoothly i can go from contentment to absolute emptiness. i feel so bleak. i don’t want to die but i don’t want to be alive either. i have so much love for the world & those around me but it all drains away when i get like this. i feel hollow & i don’t know why. i have no one to talk to about this. i tried therapy but they made me talk about other stuff that doesn’t matter. i just want to be at peace, feel alive all the time & just live my life until i die. i feel so interrupted. like somwone has paused my life on the tv screen & i’m the only character who’s noticed. what the f*** is wrong with me?