Its occured to me I will be lonely for many years to come, as I have been lonely for many years before that.
This has only just disquieted me, sat here in the early hours of the morning due to a terrible bout of insomnia.
I don’t think i’m entirely looking forward to the rest of my life, no matter how things may change.
There are memories so deeply ingrained into my brain sometimes it feels as if they’re crawling on the inside of my skull. I just want to forget, I want to stop remembering these creeping, crawling thoughts but the only option that presents itself is something I would rather not commit.
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I’ve been lonely for many years as well but it’s not something I see as a definitive trait of my life. You’ve just got to make the most out of everything. If you go out purposely looking for someone to fill this void in your life, you probably won’t find a person that’s willing to stay very long. Those special someones are almost always unexpected. I think if you just enjoy what you’ve got, spend time with your mates, and try to progress in your life and not regress, you’ll eventually run into someone who will see all these positive aspects about you. Reply back if you read this. I’d be willing to have a conversation with you about it if you wanted to.
T.A.