The person that I love most in this world is, I believe, intentionally making me suffer. I can't do anything without crying and breaking down because the past 7 months have been hell and I can't find my way back. Even with medication and counseling I can't deal. I just keep hoping that someone will have mercy and kill me before I have to do it myself.
I don't fear death, I fear how much everyone is going to hate me when I'm gone by my own devices but I can't function anymore. I've never been so alone in my life..
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You not alone. I was there. Someone is talking to you. Stop fighting him. I fought for so long. I gave up. I too wanted to jump in front of traffic. I had only two choices. I chose God. It changed me almost over night. Things werent easy and they still aren’t. God loves us and he wants us to love oursleves too. I have a different outlook on life. I have my family back. Though my career is not what I would like it to be, I’m happy where I am. Hope this finds you well. Hope you find God. He is waiting with open arms.