Thinking about the way he touched me. What he said. What I said. So different. And what was all of that? Why did I do it? He felt so comfortable to hold.

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Thinking about the way he touched me. What he said. What I said. So different. And what was all of that? Why did I do it? He felt so comfortable to hold. And I love him dearly. But what happened is too sacred to be something I just did thoughtlessly. That part of our time together should be over. It felt like just pure affection, but seemed so wrong to me. I tried to stop it but it was too late, and I kept falling back into it. The line was crossed. I don’t know what to think. I guess when there’s love there, reason takes a back seat. It’s not the same as it used to be. I can feel that. It did come from love, but I didn’t express it the way I meant to. I hope I’m not like all of the girls Blue sings about. But I probably am. A mess. Confused. It probably looks so dirty on paper. Like I’m filthy. Not that it matters. Blue is beautiful, and I’m comforting him right now somehow. That’s all. But just for my own sake I want to act on nothing but the purest ways for him. Insane. I know. We are just friends. But I don’t want to do something that would make him think I’m grotesque. I am though. Obviously.

New Confession

6. The Office was a simple clean room with a desk no further furniture was necessary just the chair I was sitting on. He was a fairly looking man young for his stature husky built 6 ft 9about 260, me a puny 5’8 30 year old out of work, lost my girl with step daughter 10 she keeps saying and a half will become 11 on Saturday.The man speaks. Say nothing till I finish and your answer should be nothing but yes. The proposal next.

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I’ve been an e***** for four years. I can’t look at a man without feeling such visceral disgust. I really hate this but the money is so good. I have my own house and car and I’ve put myself through school with no loans and am in pharmacy school now, still no loans. I’m just so tired.