I like openness, honesty, and transparency in my relationships. However things have been... different than I expected. I'm not even sure what the protocol

1 year

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I like openness, honesty, and transparency in my relationships. However things have been… different than I expected.

I’m not even sure what the protocol is here. I have something I want to tell my partner, I feel like I need to, but also the thought of doing so makes me feel sick to my stomach. Let’s just say the last time I tried to, things….. didn’t go well.

I don’t know how much my partner knows. I’m just learning things myself. I thought in the beginning I was only going to have two partners. I had no idea about anyone else. This is a learning process for me, and it’s not easy. I learned about a third not long after, but things were happening at the same time and it just… it was too much going on at once.

I know it sounds crazy, but I’m not 100% sure how many people I’ve slept with. Years ago, there were people. But.. after learning about my husband, I honestly wasn’t sure if those encounters were him or them. But, I believe it was them. And new evidence supports that. It’s hard to describe all the things I’ve gone through but I’m trying.

The thing is, I didn’t go searching for those encounters and I was shocked and even afraid when they happened. I did try to end things.

It took me years to end things with one of them. And the other I have a weird feeling got mad at me when I pulled away. But like- it’s scary? I don’t know these people and clearly we’re not on the same page.

I was such a devout Christian that on some level it makes me feel like I’m a w**** or something that I had very s***** relationships with other women.

Some from years ago, and some only recent and new.

There’s a girl, I think I slept with her but I’m not 100% sure.

For me it’s like I’ve been in a daze because so many huge, life-changing things were happening at the same time and the last thing on my mind was having encounters with people but it just happened.

All I can say about it is things are just not going the way I expected. I wanted to actually talk to my partner about all these things, have an honest dialogue. Because I’m not the type to hide things like that. So I wanted to be up front about it, but… things are just strange. The last time I hinted that I’d slept with someone and again, it wasn’t even something I pursued, it just happened; it surprised me.

But my partner made me feel like I betrayed them and did something wrong, like they were trying to punish me. Which confused me because I thought my partner wanted to be in this kind of relationship with me? I thought my partner knew. But instead I was made to feel like I did something horribly wrong, even though I didn’t even seek it out to begin with.

So even though I want to be honest, the thought now of doing so fills me with dread and makes me feel sick.

I know this sounds crazy but I have actually feared for my life because I don’t know how my partner will react.

I don’t even know what my partner knows- but the fact that I feel intense guilt for loving my husband, who I’ve been with much longer, is not good.

It just completely took me by surprise because I believed we were all on the same page. I thought my partner was fully on board, only to be shocked at the revelation that they see me as being a cheater?

I have so much going on and now this?

I’m confused, that’s all I’m gonna say…

New Confession

My wife just got a huge silicone Horse Di.ldo to add to her collection. The horse co.ck is 15 inches long with a stiff inner core so it feels rigid and realistic.

Horses have a flat co ck head which provides more resistance as she tries to push the huge horse d**** inside her bun. It creates a vacuum as it moves in her bun. She moans as she sits on it and slides lower and lower on the shaft as it spreads her bun open.

Her latest toy has a built in tube so it can squirt hot liquid deep inside her bun, imitating a horse cu.mming. It has a ridge line halfway down the shaft that spreads her open. It also has a huge knot near the base which can be further inflated to be even bigger after it is in her.

It has no balls because a gelding doesn’t have balls since geldings are castrated. She says that I should be castrated too and be her gelding. She holds my balls and shakes them a little and says, ‘They’re gonna come off honey. You know I’m gonna have you neutered and emasculated.’

As the knot gets inflated it must feel like giving birth as the knot grows bigger and stretches her inside. It does have a suction cup base to hold it steady so she can sit on it and slide down on the shaft.

Her collection of fantasy d**** co.cks keeps her busy so that I hardly get any s.ex. She has fat co.cks, ones with spikes, ones with ridges, ones with bumps and she has stra.p-ons that she insists on using on me to make it clear what my position is in the relationship.

She makes me bend over, then she grabs my balls and she forces her strap-on up inside me. Then the thrusting begins. My co.ck gets hard and she laughs about my erection and says that I must be gay. Then she thrusts more.

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I hate Linkedin and modern society. I want a job, you want an employee. Here’s what I can do. Will you hire me? Yes/no. It used to be that easy and it still should be like that. I hate all the b******* and extra steps attached to modern life.