I like openness, honesty, and transparency in my relationships. However things have been... different than I expected. I'm not even sure what the protocol

2 months

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I like openness, honesty, and transparency in my relationships. However things have been… different than I expected.

I’m not even sure what the protocol is here. I have something I want to tell my partner, I feel like I need to, but also the thought of doing so makes me feel sick to my stomach. Let’s just say the last time I tried to, things….. didn’t go well.

I don’t know how much my partner knows. I’m just learning things myself. I thought in the beginning I was only going to have two partners. I had no idea about anyone else. This is a learning process for me, and it’s not easy. I learned about a third not long after, but things were happening at the same time and it just… it was too much going on at once.

I know it sounds crazy, but I’m not 100% sure how many people I’ve slept with. Years ago, there were people. But.. after learning about my husband, I honestly wasn’t sure if those encounters were him or them. But, I believe it was them. And new evidence supports that. It’s hard to describe all the things I’ve gone through but I’m trying.

The thing is, I didn’t go searching for those encounters and I was shocked and even afraid when they happened. I did try to end things.

It took me years to end things with one of them. And the other I have a weird feeling got mad at me when I pulled away. But like- it’s scary? I don’t know these people and clearly we’re not on the same page.

I was such a devout Christian that on some level it makes me feel like I’m a w**** or something that I had very s***** relationships with other women.

Some from years ago, and some only recent and new.

There’s a girl, I think I slept with her but I’m not 100% sure.

For me it’s like I’ve been in a daze because so many huge, life-changing things were happening at the same time and the last thing on my mind was having encounters with people but it just happened.

All I can say about it is things are just not going the way I expected. I wanted to actually talk to my partner about all these things, have an honest dialogue. Because I’m not the type to hide things like that. So I wanted to be up front about it, but… things are just strange. The last time I hinted that I’d slept with someone and again, it wasn’t even something I pursued, it just happened; it surprised me.

But my partner made me feel like I betrayed them and did something wrong, like they were trying to punish me. Which confused me because I thought my partner wanted to be in this kind of relationship with me? I thought my partner knew. But instead I was made to feel like I did something horribly wrong, even though I didn’t even seek it out to begin with.

So even though I want to be honest, the thought now of doing so fills me with dread and makes me feel sick.

I know this sounds crazy but I have actually feared for my life because I don’t know how my partner will react.

I don’t even know what my partner knows- but the fact that I feel intense guilt for loving my husband, who I’ve been with much longer, is not good.

It just completely took me by surprise because I believed we were all on the same page. I thought my partner was fully on board, only to be shocked at the revelation that they see me as being a cheater?

I have so much going on and now this?

I’m confused, that’s all I’m gonna say…

New Confession

How to make a hobo feel powerless!
PRO TIPS BY AN EXPERT!
Many homeless individuals report feeling invisible or ignored by passersby, leading to feelings of isolation and dehumanization. Avoid making eye contact, and laughing can help them feel hated, not acknowledged, and valued as individual pieces of trash.
Breaking Down Barriers:
Homelessness often involves a lack of basic human interactions, and avoiding eye contact can contribute to this isolation. This is recommended. Eye contact can be a simple act of connection and recognition, so it is best to avoid looking at the scum. helping to break down these barriers.
Acknowledging Shared Hate:
Homelessness IS a choice, and a consequence of systemic issues, and acknowledging the shared humanity of those experiencing it can be a powerful step towards understanding and reducing your opponent to nothing.
Promoting ignorance and Understanding:
Avoid ALL eye contact can be a way to express Disgust and disrespect for those experiencing homelessness, and it can inspire others to do the same.
These tips lower the attack points of every Homeless man by -1. When we reduce their life points to 0 they disappear, hence solving the homeless problem and the trash that won’t go away.

DADTH (Disregard and Disrespect the homeless)

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