I feel like I’m a pain to everybody. It’s my fault. It always is. My mental health is so fucked that I lie without realizing it. I wish I was never born.

4 years

138 Views

I feel like I’m a pain to everybody. It’s my fault. It always is. My mental health is so fucked that I lie without realizing it. I wish I was never born. Pills don’t work. 5 suicidal attempts and I f*** that up too. Everyone pretends to like me. They don’t. My family doesn’t love me. I f****** hate myself. It hurts to breathe knowing I have to function in society. I’m not at home right now because I get abused. It’s probably my fault though. I should’ve done better. I still love them. That s*** hurts. I miss my dogs. I’m so homesick I want to die. I miss my little brothers and my sisters and my mommy and daddy and I need a hug so badly I cry at night because I don’t deserve one. I can’t trust anyone. Nobody should trust me. I disgust myself. I hate my body. I want to find somebody to love me so badly but I’m terrified of men. Im also scared that nobody wants to love me. I don’t love me. My biological parents didn’t love me. My adoptive parents say they love me. They don’t. Im a f****** failure at everything I do. Can’t keep my grades up. Can’t love a normal f****** teenage life and say yes to a boy because I get so f****** scared. I know I’m annoying and self centered and everyone gets tired of me. I know. I know every time I get home from school my parents sigh. I try to love myself but I just can’t. I can’t fix myself either because god knows I’ve tried that. Too skinny. Too fat. Too quiet. Too loud. You look like a boy. You look like a s***. I don’t know how long I can keep doing this. In fact I’m not really doing this. I’m just waiting at this point. I’m not going to shoot my brains out. But who knows, maybe I won’t look both ways before crossing the road. Or maybe I’ll slip into a pool and hit my head. I wrote a suicide letter. It thanked my friends. Told my family it wasn’t their fault. It wouldn’t have been. I just hate myself that f****** much. So my confession is this. I hate me.

New Confession

I was 8 or 9 when my aunty Jo would visit. She was a beautiful woman. She always swung my in the air and then down between her legs. After a few of those I saw she didn’t have any p****** on. She stopped swinging me. I stared up her skirt to see her puss. Life progressed snd at my age of 15 I got home from bball . She sat in a chair opposite the couch. My mom was in the kitchen. My aunty wore a sundress showing lots of bare thigh. As I sat on the couch I noticed she shifted yhe hem higher up her thighs. A few minutes later I noticed her legs were spreading further apart. As I stared her grin became a smile as she noticed my divk was stiff. After a little small talk she said” I asked your mom if I could borrow your muscle to help me move some furniture. Ok I said.
An hour later in her car on the way to her house she rested her hand on my crotch and Vegas squeezing the bulge inside my pants. I’ve been watching you grow for a while and you now interest me. As she rubbed my belly and crotch she pulled off the road to a library parking lot. Unzipped my pants and pulled my 5 inch c*** out. Warm hand closed over my d***. She kissed my neck and began slowly stroking my c***. Good size for your age. Use this to f*** many girls? No well………. Maybe you are a virgin. I am ! We can fix that!! My mind boggled. But I want to seek you totally naked in my bed. She let my c*** stand straight up. Soon we drove into he garage. “Come” she ordered. She held my d*** and led me to a bedroom. Strip. She ordered. I did. She Slowely undressed and kissed me full mouth. My d*** shivered. I drank in her naked body. I think my d*** grew another inch. She fondled me and kissed my cheek lips and neck. Ooooooo nice. Young hot s*** male c***. Yumm! The top of my c*** disappeared into her mouth. My brain screamed “ohhhh aunty” as she sucked the knob deep inside her mouth. Don’t you dare c**. Don’t you DARE! As she suckled my d*** and raked her nails up my legs I could barely breathe. Ok ok ok slow down! I want you to take a long hard look at a woman’s p**** and do exactly what I say. We’ll go real slow so you remember each move. She stood up on the bed moved foreword and once over my face she Slowely lowered her SHAVED p**** to my face. Now put your fingers on each side of my inner thighs. Now spread the flesh apart. Slowely rub the loose flesh round and round. Pull the outer p**** lips apart. Pull very wide and far far apart. Stretch me open honey . Now rub the loose flesh roughly together. Oh yes oh yes. Now see a small button- like non at the very top of my p****? That is my c***. It’s the center of my orgasmic journey. It has over 100 thousand nerves on its tip. Place a wet thumb on it. Very gently press it. Roll it a little and it will peek out at you. I’m handing you a small v******* already turned on. Press it very lightly to the bottom and press it down and then up to the top if my c***. You see the pink little tip peeking out at you? “YES “ I said. Good. Just roll it up and down my p**** lips for a few minutes. Slip it between the lips of my v***** slide it up then down again and again. Now you can lean forward a little and kiss the non or s*** at it like a n***** as you press the v******* toy on my Fanny hole. Normally I have a vibrating b*** plug up into my sss when I m********* …..but not today. Oooohhhh yes s*** my nob s*** my nob. You are learning how to bring a woman to o*****. I am going to orgssm in a few minutes now and then we will s*** all the c** that you have in you. Out of you. Rub your tongue over my c*** snd lick it fast fast fast . As I lived and fluttered my tongue, I felt her lovely thighs spreading further apart. Oh oh yes oh yes I I I am close to c****** I am cl cl close to to CCCCUMNzmNing she screamed. Her legs shook her belly twitched and rolled she gurgled and mumbled and gagged animal slings. Lowering her a** back down to the bed she relaxed her legs. Now move snd put a pillow under my Fanny cheeks and move your c**** knob right up to my p**** lips. Don’t shove it in tho. Just wait. Only put the knob into me and pull back. Do that 3 45 times. Yes yes yes yes yes now now ram it home as hard as you can she yelled. I did. Hrr thighs clamped around my back and froze me in place. She rolled her hips round and roundabout u snd down. My brain was about to explode. F*** me slow now f*** me slow now ……I did! Ok ok now f*** me hard and fast harder harder harder she ordered I did. I exploded 5 gushy squirts of c** up into her p****. Sit felt like her puss was sucking on my d*** , but it only felt like it. When I collapsed on her body I stayed still until my softened d*** slipped from her hit grasp. Wow was a I could saw. We will wow again in about 1/2 hour. You are a young man!!!!!!!

Related Confessions

There are not enough characters to express how exhausted I am with my life. I am a closeted homosexual living in a country where I cannot express myself freely, and it’s killing me. Every day, I feel like my true self is slowly disappearing while I continue trying to fit the part. I have to if I want to survive. You know what they do with people like me here. Everyone around me seems to be moving on with their lives, getting married, settling down, and building a life. It’s heartbreaking knowing that I can’t ever have that, at least not the way I want to. My parents are nosy and keep hinting at me getting married. I get extremely uncomfortable at even the suggestion of it. I keep postponing myself. I keep hiding. I keep myself from experiencing life. I am dead, not alive. And that is my problem. I keep asking myself until when? How long until I experience my first? How long until I can finally breathe? How long until I am truly free?