I love my girlfriend with all my heart but all I do is hurt her in the worst way possible not physically but mentally I don't say anything mean to her or

3 years

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I love my girlfriend with all my heart but all I do is hurt her in the worst way possible not physically but mentally I don’t say anything mean to her or insult her but I hurt her by being petty and messing up and she’s expressed that feeling to me and i would apologize and she’ll just forgive me a couple of days later she makes me smile and makes me feel like im on top of the world but i just keep overthinking and causing me and her problems and shes told me to not give up on us and we;ll make it work but damn im so lucky to have her but f*** man all of this guilt and pain i have of her telling me these things hurt a lot

New Confession

I hate you and resent you, you never listen and only hear what you wanna hear. You like me but its only conditional and when its convenient for you. You treat me like trash just like everyone else has and walking on eggshells. Any little mistake I make, your awful to me, you’re easily possessive , controlling and get easily jealous if i so much smile at someone yet its okay for you to have friends. You don’t want me to talk to anyone else yet you push me when I want to have a conversation with you. You only halfway listen, and you wonder why I completely shut down and dead inside. I rather live and die alone than feel more alone & isolated around everyone who’ve treated me like a freak. You get mad that I don’t want to be near you yet you’ve mocked me when I was really upset and hurt. I feel trapped and stuck. Im waiting to die, I hate this non-ending cycle pathetic excuse of this life im living. I can’t even escape in my own thoughts, if a god or any other being exists and is listening, please take me away already , why do you let me live ?

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