My friend has a tendency of saying they want to die, and I honestly have never EVER let it brush aside. I tell him that I'm always here for him and that

4 years

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My friend has a tendency of saying they want to die, and I honestly have never EVER let it brush aside. I tell him that I’m always here for him and that life DOES have meaning. He always brushes me aside and says that nothing will change his mind. I normally see him every day at school, but today I didn’t. He has a knack for getting stomach aches quite often and so I normally brush it aside. But he’ll normally show being online on either messages or a different social media. I recently got grounded for not being on par with my grades, so I haven’t had much access to the social media I normally talk to him with. I just now was able to see this social media and at 2 in the morning he says he loves me (he’s my best friend and we do this stuff platonically) but like it sounded too genuine. We normally joke with it and he’s a joke-with-everything sort of guy so I’m just scared he might have committed. I want to call someone but I fear that A) it’s too late, B) he might’ve overslept and his message was just me overthinking, and C) if it’s not too late, he’ll hate me forever and I’ll never see him again regardless. Guys, I don’t know what to do and I’m already diagnosed with anxiety so this is just going to scare me even more. I’ve tried the entirety of my and his friends to be the light person and I end up making him laugh every day, and I’ve been there every time he needed to talk. What could I have done? Was it not enough? If he ended up doing it, I don’t know what I’ll do. I met him earlier in the school year but he’s the closest friend I’ve ever had and I don’t know what I’d do. I’m always so worried for him because he means so much to me. I just, I don’t even know what to do right now. I’m shaking with fear and I don’t know what I can do right now. I can’t even focus on school right now because of how scared I am. I can’t even tell anyone of his friends because I’m the only one that knows, and I don’t know who to tell. I think I need comfort and a lie-down but I need to continue with my school because my grades are already slipping again. I could go on and on but right now I just, I need comfort and help.

New Confession

I was 8 or 9 when my aunty Jo would visit. She was a beautiful woman. She always swung my in the air and then down between her legs. After a few of those I saw she didn’t have any p****** on. She stopped swinging me. I stared up her skirt to see her puss. Life progressed snd at my age of 15 I got home from bball . She sat in a chair opposite the couch. My mom was in the kitchen. My aunty wore a sundress showing lots of bare thigh. As I sat on the couch I noticed she shifted yhe hem higher up her thighs. A few minutes later I noticed her legs were spreading further apart. As I stared her grin became a smile as she noticed my divk was stiff. After a little small talk she said” I asked your mom if I could borrow your muscle to help me move some furniture. Ok I said.
An hour later in her car on the way to her house she rested her hand on my crotch and Vegas squeezing the bulge inside my pants. I’ve been watching you grow for a while and you now interest me. As she rubbed my belly and crotch she pulled off the road to a library parking lot. Unzipped my pants and pulled my 5 inch c*** out. Warm hand closed over my d***. She kissed my neck and began slowly stroking my c***. Good size for your age. Use this to f*** many girls? No well………. Maybe you are a virgin. I am ! We can fix that!! My mind boggled. But I want to seek you totally naked in my bed. She let my c*** stand straight up. Soon we drove into he garage. “Come” she ordered. She held my d*** and led me to a bedroom. Strip. She ordered. I did. She Slowely undressed and kissed me full mouth. My d*** shivered. I drank in her naked body. I think my d*** grew another inch. She fondled me and kissed my cheek lips and neck. Ooooooo nice. Young hot s*** male c***. Yumm! The top of my c*** disappeared into her mouth. My brain screamed “ohhhh aunty” as she sucked the knob deep inside her mouth. Don’t you dare c**. Don’t you DARE! As she suckled my d*** and raked her nails up my legs I could barely breathe. Ok ok ok slow down! I want you to take a long hard look at a woman’s p**** and do exactly what I say. We’ll go real slow so you remember each move. She stood up on the bed moved foreword and once over my face she Slowely lowered her SHAVED p**** to my face. Now put your fingers on each side of my inner thighs. Now spread the flesh apart. Slowely rub the loose flesh round and round. Pull the outer p**** lips apart. Pull very wide and far far apart. Stretch me open honey . Now rub the loose flesh roughly together. Oh yes oh yes. Now see a small button- like non at the very top of my p****? That is my c***. It’s the center of my orgasmic journey. It has over 100 thousand nerves on its tip. Place a wet thumb on it. Very gently press it. Roll it a little and it will peek out at you. I’m handing you a small v******* already turned on. Press it very lightly to the bottom and press it down and then up to the top if my c***. You see the pink little tip peeking out at you? “YES “ I said. Good. Just roll it up and down my p**** lips for a few minutes. Slip it between the lips of my v***** slide it up then down again and again. Now you can lean forward a little and kiss the non or s*** at it like a n***** as you press the v******* toy on my Fanny hole. Normally I have a vibrating b*** plug up into my sss when I m********* …..but not today. Oooohhhh yes s*** my nob s*** my nob. You are learning how to bring a woman to o*****. I am going to orgssm in a few minutes now and then we will s*** all the c** that you have in you. Out of you. Rub your tongue over my c*** snd lick it fast fast fast . As I lived and fluttered my tongue, I felt her lovely thighs spreading further apart. Oh oh yes oh yes I I I am close to c****** I am cl cl close to to CCCCUMNzmNing she screamed. Her legs shook her belly twitched and rolled she gurgled and mumbled and gagged animal slings. Lowering her a** back down to the bed she relaxed her legs. Now move snd put a pillow under my Fanny cheeks and move your c**** knob right up to my p**** lips. Don’t shove it in tho. Just wait. Only put the knob into me and pull back. Do that 3 45 times. Yes yes yes yes yes now now ram it home as hard as you can she yelled. I did. Hrr thighs clamped around my back and froze me in place. She rolled her hips round and roundabout u snd down. My brain was about to explode. F*** me slow now f*** me slow now ……I did! Ok ok now f*** me hard and fast harder harder harder she ordered I did. I exploded 5 gushy squirts of c** up into her p****. Sit felt like her puss was sucking on my d*** , but it only felt like it. When I collapsed on her body I stayed still until my softened d*** slipped from her hit grasp. Wow was a I could saw. We will wow again in about 1/2 hour. You are a young man!!!!!!!

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There are not enough characters to express how exhausted I am with my life. I am a closeted homosexual living in a country where I cannot express myself freely, and it’s killing me. Every day, I feel like my true self is slowly disappearing while I continue trying to fit the part. I have to if I want to survive. You know what they do with people like me here. Everyone around me seems to be moving on with their lives, getting married, settling down, and building a life. It’s heartbreaking knowing that I can’t ever have that, at least not the way I want to. My parents are nosy and keep hinting at me getting married. I get extremely uncomfortable at even the suggestion of it. I keep postponing myself. I keep hiding. I keep myself from experiencing life. I am dead, not alive. And that is my problem. I keep asking myself until when? How long until I experience my first? How long until I can finally breathe? How long until I am truly free?