My friend has a tendency of saying they want to die, and I honestly have never EVER let it brush aside. I tell him that I’m always here for him and that life DOES have meaning. He always brushes me aside and says that nothing will change his mind. I normally see him every day at school, but today I didn’t. He has a knack for getting stomach aches quite often and so I normally brush it aside. But he’ll normally show being online on either messages or a different social media. I recently got grounded for not being on par with my grades, so I haven’t had much access to the social media I normally talk to him with. I just now was able to see this social media and at 2 in the morning he says he loves me (he’s my best friend and we do this stuff platonically) but like it sounded too genuine. We normally joke with it and he’s a joke-with-everything sort of guy so I’m just scared he might have committed. I want to call someone but I fear that A) it’s too late, B) he might’ve overslept and his message was just me overthinking, and C) if it’s not too late, he’ll hate me forever and I’ll never see him again regardless. Guys, I don’t know what to do and I’m already diagnosed with anxiety so this is just going to scare me even more. I’ve tried the entirety of my and his friends to be the light person and I end up making him laugh every day, and I’ve been there every time he needed to talk. What could I have done? Was it not enough? If he ended up doing it, I don’t know what I’ll do. I met him earlier in the school year but he’s the closest friend I’ve ever had and I don’t know what I’d do. I’m always so worried for him because he means so much to me. I just, I don’t even know what to do right now. I’m shaking with fear and I don’t know what I can do right now. I can’t even focus on school right now because of how scared I am. I can’t even tell anyone of his friends because I’m the only one that knows, and I don’t know who to tell. I think I need comfort and a lie-down but I need to continue with my school because my grades are already slipping again. I could go on and on but right now I just, I need comfort and help.
