If I stopped talking to my friends would they even notice? Would they even care? Sometimes it feels like they’re not talking to me anyway. They talk to each other and when I respond to them they talk to me, but not as much. Is it too much to ask to have someone text me first not because they have something about themselves that they want to talk about, but because they just genuinely wanted to talk to me? Maybe they bring up something we’re both interested in so we can talk about it together? Or share in the excitement of something?

Maybe if I stopped talking to them for a bit they’d want to talk to me again, maybe if I acted less desperate for human communication with the people I love then they’d realize they want to talk to me. But I’m scared. I’m f****** terrified, actually. Because what if I stop talking to them and they don’t notice? They don’t miss me? They don’t say anything?

What if I just slowly fade from existence? Would that even be that bad?