Truth be told I can’t keep going anymore. As much as I try and get through another day, I simply can’t. It feels like I’m being attacked from all sides. It feels no matter how fast I run, the dread and the pain of having to wake up to yet another day overwhelms me. I try and hide the pain; push it so deep within me that I can’t feel it anymore, but it always bubbles up agin. I’m sick of trying to fill the void inside my heart. I can’t cope anymore. Each year that passes by I’m reminded of the guilt, the guilt of not being able to save my mother. This is a pain that I just can’t control anymore. It’s consuming me from the inside. I don’t wanna have anymore sleepless nights, I don’t wanna have anymore nights where I just cry until rge reaes stop falling. Each day I just wonder that if I left, would anyone really care? Would anyone mourn me? And the answwer is no, no one would because I’m a burden. I feel like I’m just an innconvenience in other people’s lives. That I do nothing but bring other people pain and misery. All I want is for those around me to be happy and if it means leaving them be, I’ll do it. Truthfully, I just can’t go on anymore. All I want is to be able to make people’s lives easier. I can tell most of them don’t care about me as a person it’s just that when I hit my emotional rock bottom they feel obligated to offer me soothing words when in reality they probably think I’m just a hinderence. I can’t continue living anymore. Not when I feel like this. I’m sorry for not being able to do better and I’m sorry that I made everyone suffer. I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me.
