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my moms boyfriend yelled at me for making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when i was 10 years old

he ran downstairs to ask my mom if i had permission to make one bc he didn’t believe me when i said yes. he wanted to hit me so f****** bad, he doesn’t hit us anymore ( cps got involved) but he comes up the stairs, i jump out of fear

my mom never believed me bc apparently “he doesn’t yell” haha maybe not to you ! he abused me and made my life a miserable living hell but ofc she doesn’t believe that either ! he would beat the ever loving s*** out of me and my brother ! one time my brother tried to stand up for me and he laughed, always did, and then beat the s*** out of a 13 year old. everytime i tried to prove a point he would laugh say i was just a kid

think he wanted to hit us, my mom said it was just to discipline but the way he looked at us it was like we were f****** insects or something my god i was scared 24/7

one time i got suspended from school idk what i did i forgot but he forced me to stay at the table but my mom said i could go back in my room, so i did. he came back home, i ran back to the table and he called me a pig and laughed now i was a very insecure 10 year old and jesus f*** i’ll never forget that and then after that he tried to tell us “oh my mom is dead blah blah i get it” yeah i hope your f****** dad dies next how tf u call me a name and then move on AND YOU KNOW WHAT?? MY MOM DIDNT EVEN BELIEVE ME

and this one time i got grounded i don’t even remember what it was, i got so scared to leave my room bc i didn’t want him to hit me but i had to use the bathroom really bad but in also didn’t wanna get hit SO I PEED IN MY TRASHBCAN THATS HOW TERRIFIED I WAS HOW DO U DO THAT TO A CHILD

god i cant forget my brothers screams, since he’s a boy i think he got hit harder than i did i wished i could help him but i couldn’t do anything

that reminds me of one time like three years later i tried speaking up to my mom abt it and she laughed at me while i was crying and told me i never knew what it felt like to be abused

i lived in f****** terror for days, cps got involved, i plotted running away, jesus f*** i put a knife to my heart how tf r u just gotta deny my experiences

i blocked out much of the other stuff he did ig from a trauma response but i hate looking at him, i never wear my glasses around him so his face can be blurred, i hate his laugh, i hate how he f****** sniffles everywhere he goes, i can’t even hear his name the same way ever again like if a character has his name i simply won’t watch the show

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