4 years
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I feel like nothing I’m doing is right. I feel like all the decisions I make are wrong. Why do I always feel guilty for no reason? I have no self-esteem, no self-confidence. I have nothing. I don’t ever feel content nor satisfied. Everything I do is wrong somehow. I’m so mediocre. I hate feeling mediocre and yet I’m not able to do anything about it because of my anxiety about everything. Why can’t I be more shameless and thick-skinned? Why does everything get to me? I hate myself. Life is a pain.

I wish I had more direction. I don’t want to decide for myself because I have no idea what I’m doing. I hate everything I’m doing and everything I’m not doing to improve. I can’t help but compare myself to others. I wish I didn’t care. I don’t even want what they have, but I feel like I’m falling behind. That lifestyle and those choices won’t even make me happy, yet I can’t help but think about them.

I want to get out of my own mind.

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