4 years
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I’m a good person and I look nice. I never had friends. People were aggressive towards me from young age, and rejected me.
At 7-12 years old I was spending my time alone in forests and fields and in the trees.
I was mocked and rejected my whole life.
I was s******* molested as a kid.
In teenage years I was living with my father, he beaten me and humiliated me for few years until in the end he choked me and I passed out for more than 15 minutes.
I had many relationships with women, bad ones, lousy ones, cheating etc. Thinking about it, I never really liked any of them. First girl I really love in my whole life is almost a stranger, 15 years younger than me (I’m 40). And has a boyfriend. Realistically, it will never happen probably unless there’s a divine intervention between us. I’m all alone, no long term job contract, can’t get one, I feel like life is over. AND JUST SO I can hurt a bit more. Universe gives me unrequited love. Many days I think about buying climbing rope and going to the forest to find a nice tree with strong branches.

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