It really s**** abortion is illegal because I’m currently pregnant by the worst person I’ve ever been in a relationship with. He was great, including his flaws, or the ones he let me see. He’s a complete p************ and I didn’t find out until I was pregnant by the fucker. And I was so happy to share this experience with him. I haven’t even reached the second trimester and he makes me cry all the time, is emotionally and physically abusive, controlling as f***, he makes me feel guilty for things that are happening to my body that I can’t control. Like how often I sleep or not being able to finish big meals. Making me walk or exercise for too long, I keep telling him my doctor says I shouldn’t be moving or on my feet for so long, and when I try to say I can’t do it he leaves me alone. I keep spotting and I’m afraid that my babies won’t make it. Yes babies I’m having twins with the biggest monster in the f****** world. I am struggling because I don’t know what to do. I want to leave but then I’ll be left to raise two babies on my own and I’m scared he won’t let me anyway. I want to have my babies. I want to meet them and hold them. And all at the same time I just want to kill myself because the weight is too much. But they don’t deserve that. They deserve better than him that’s for sure. But maybe they also deserve better than me because I’m the one that chose him. I don’t want to be here anymore. Not just here with him but not in existence.