We’ve been married 12 years. He used to celebrate that. Today? I ended up teasing him because he only told me ‘happy anniversary’ in facebook messenger. Didn’t respond to my heartfelt fb post like he used to. Then he just ‘liked’ it. I guess he’s gotta make sure his skank he thinks I don’t know about KNOWS he’s not happily married. Little c*** hole. He doesn’t respond to the nudes I send. He doesn’t publicly interact with me. I once said how we should see if his parents will watch our daughter one friday and i could join him at his bar for a bit. Told me, hurriedly “No, you can’t go to my bar!” Then tried laughing it off. I hate how stupid he thinks I am. I hate how stupid I am for trying so hard to hold on to someone who isn’t even looking at me anymore. I hate how weak I am. I should f****** leave. I know it. He knows he. He also knows I won’t go anywhere. He knows how badly he can treat me and he knows I’ll still be right there, ready to drop to my knees the moment he gets hard enough from someone else. I’m pathetic. I’m a loser. If we didn’t have a kid, I’d kill myself since that would be the only way I’d leave and stay away. I hate myself. I hate him. I hate this life. I hate that I’m too weak and stupid to change it. I hate that I picked him. I hate that I thought he was my forever guy. He is, but its also this hell I picked for myself. I turned down so many nice men who loved me and were devoted to me for this a******.