4 years
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He hurt me so much and I haven’t been able to get over it. I don’t understand it. He spent so much time and effort trying to convince me that he was a good guy. Too nice, too caring, gets hurt easily. He swore to me that he’d love me forever and never be any less than I deserve. He worked so hard trying to convince me that he was trustworthy when I told him I have trust issues. I told him all of my pains and traumas and he swore never to hurt me. I loved him so much. I cared about him. About how his day was and if he was taking care of himself. I worried about him and missed him and was there for him when he needed support. He knew all the crap others had put me through and swore he was different. And the whole time he had a wife that he lied to me about being/living with. I gave him so many chances to come clean. All I wanted was honesty. He could have just told me, “Look, I can’t leave her because (insert reason here)”. But no, he wasted almost a year of my time and energy. He eroded my trust. He took pieces of me and never gave anything back. Just empty promises. He’d constantly talk about how he’s not one of those guys who’d say anything to keep a woman on the hook, and how disgusting guys like that are. While being exactly THAT GUY. When I’d ask too many questions, he’d emotionally manipulate me. “I’ve given up so much to be with you” but he actually didn’t give up anything, he just said he did. I found actual proof that he was lying to me and even then, I was stupid enough to be kind and forgiving to him. I kept telling him all I wanted was for him to be honest. But he kept saying, “Why would I even be with you if I was still with her?” Like, I don’t know. . .YOU tell ME! He’d say, “Why would I do that? What am I getting out of it?” And that’s what I’d like to know. . .WHY? Why didn’t he just leave me alone in the first place? Or tell me the truth and end it? We weren’t even having s** toward the end, so what WAS he getting out of it? Why mess with me like that? I don’t get it. I guess I’ll never get the closure I need.

New Confession

I was a church organist and pianist for Sunday School departments on Sunday morning from the time I was 12 years old ….. Every morning I would come in the back door and go up the flight of stairs to where the Sunday School rooms were out to play the piano for them and one day we had a new quad director his first year in college… He was 17 I liked him okay but I certainly wasn’t in love with him and I had no desire to touch him in any way but after about 2 months he started meeting me at the stairway going up and started rubbing my d*** with the back of his hand making it hard extremely hard and erect well he continued to talk to me I tried to back up and he followed me continuing to rub my d*** so the first time I said oh I have to go to the restroom so I went to the restroom I beat it off and went back up the hallway he was not there discontinued every Sunday for about 6 months after the first time I decided I would force my way past him and he became very angry that I forced to my way past him the next week he wasn’t there and all of a sudden he was there the next week and still persisted on rubbing my d*** with the back of his hand to make it hard while he talked to me normally again I have to go to the restroom and beat it off before I went to the Sunday School the following Sunday I decided I was not going to beat it off anymore because I got too hot so I went to the Sunday school class with my d*** on hard which everyone could see so finally I just did not care anymore whether they saw it or not and then I noticed all of the other boys dicks getting hard and the Sunday school class so when I went back to my own Sunday school class after playing for four other departments I got back in time just to go into my class the teacher was not there it was the voice class that had seven boys in it I made the eighth one as we were sitting in there they began to rub their dicks and then they took their dicks out and all started m*********** after a while of silence and m*********** my d*** was very hard but I did not take it out they won by one began to have o***** and one boy took my hand and put it on his d*** to finish his d*** and I did he had the best o***** of all his legs shot out and he was the loudest when he went into o***** I was afraid the teacher would come in but no teacher ever came in but then they had a huge mess to clean up all of the e********** so I had to go to the restroom and bring back paper to clean them up they all sat there wiping their dicks and cleaning off the e********** that had shot everywhere. Then about 6 months later after having my d*** rubbed two or three times a month I had stopped m*********** it I would just go with the hard d*** I was asked to be organized of the church because they had heard me playing well everything went fine for the first 3 months he stopped rubbing my d*** because I started going into another door then of course he was the car director so he started coming over to where I went into the auditorium and began taking his two fingers and gently edging my d*** as I was preparing to go out I did not want to start an argument I did not want to make a scene of course he knew that and the first time I went out with the hard d*** to the Oregon to play and then the next week I decided I could not go out there with hard d*** but he did not rub it that week the next week he rubbed me just enough to make it rock hard so I went out to the Oregon and I began to play and then after I was finished the choir came in and I was as I was sitting there listening to the pastor talk to the congregation my d*** began to throb and I had o***** right there in front of the entire congregation my head flew back my legs shut up and the organ made sounds but I couldn’t stop it I couldn’t control it and I was in o***** it seemed like forever and my d*** was throbbing so hard and I was 14 then after church the pastor wanted to know what happened I said oh nothing then he said I needed to take care of all of that before I went out to play I said but the boys come into the restroom and harass me I want to see my d*** he said he would take care of that so he put a lock on the door so I could go in and m********* before church that work for a while until I saw a boy that I really wanted to be with he opened the door to his restroom area and wanted me to come in and s*** his d*** I loved him so much I did not want to disappoint him so I went in and held his d*** and just looked at him and slowly manipulated his d*** and he ejaculated everywhere I thought he would then be my friend forever but he was never there again
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