I feel depressed. Like I’m always angry for no reason. Am I just tired? I don’t want to talk to people. I want to fold in on myself. I don’t want to go on

4 years

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I feel depressed. Like I’m always angry for no reason. Am I just tired? I don’t want to talk to people. I want to fold in on myself. I don’t want to go on this trip coming up because I will feel lonely. Like I do now. It doesn’t help my brother is dating my best friend. Which causes me to feel lonely. More often than I realized. I feel like I barely see her or that we are drifting apart, but we are not. We are the same. We got into a deep conversation and afterwards I felt uncomfortable because I don’t usually go into things like that. Ever since then I felt off. Lonely. I guess sad. I don’t know anymore. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

New Confession

To be human is to continually change. Your desire to remain as you are is what ultimately limits you.

The Puppet Master

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My ex would s******* harrass me every day, if that is the word. Force me to show him my body, show him myself m***********, pleasure him since we were long-distance. Whenever I said no, it would be begging all night until I gave in. So I stopped saying no in fear of him leaving me, embarrassing me, sending the photos out. But now, a year after him, I still imagine what it would be like if we did have s**. I imagine it when I’m alone, about how he’d topple over me, guide me through it with a soft voice as he deflowered me. How his rough hands would grab me and pull me hair like how he would describe to me. How he said he wanted me to be choking to the point I nearly threw up. How he wanted his hand on my stomach as he plowed. I pray every day that I never see him again, but I pray that the sin of my desires is attained first.