I’m trying to see that I have it better than some but it’s so hard to. My parents fighting all the time, finding out one of my friends s******* abused my sister behind my back, getting hurt by former friends and I grew worse and ended up hurting my friend and treating her like s***. My job starts to scare me and I fear so many things about the future. I just miss when I was a little kid that didn’t know about the real world and how harsh it is. If I did things differently I could be really happy right now. I ruined so many friendships and I just let myself get so hell bent on negative mindsets. Even if I’m realizing I need to better myself I just can’t stop thinking about what i did and the words spoken to me. I don’t intend to hurt or be redundant or to seem like I don’t care I just panic and I’m scared. I miss the sweet me that never once thought about pettiness or feeling entitled to dating someone who isn’t interested and is my friend. Not an option.