I must have done something wrong in a past life. My life s****. I wish I wasn’t born, or that I just die a quick death. I’m tired. Even typing this is taking everything out of me. My mom is a narcissist who thrives from making me feel like s***. I lost my first baby (boy) to stillbirth at 40 weeks. My life has never been easy. My husband is an angry man who seems to hold a lot of resentment against me. We fight often. He doesn’t know how to speak to me respectfully and he acts like marriage is a war field. I often think about how happy I’d be on my own if I never met him and got married. But we have kids and I can’t leave for fear of sharing my kids. I don’t trust them with him and his anger issues. They won’t be happy and secure with him. My kids are what keeps me going day after day. I have to stay alive to raise them. I want to die, but I can’t. I’m so miserable and this pain is too much for me sometimes. Years ago, I even planned out my suicide. I know what I should do, and needs to be done. I want to end it all. But I can’t.