Corvallus here, update on my farty party: the first gentleman, a swarthy Dominican named Rodrigo ate two plates of beans rice and jamon and then attempted to fart in my face but instead sprayed copious amounts of diarrhea all over my face carpet and new silk shirt. I called my landlord Roberto Hambueguesa and he will be sending a carpet cleaner over shortly.

🛑 Memorial Day Weekend Farty Party is unfortunately cancelled now. Please do not show up to the alligator fuckhouse.