You’re using me aren’t you? What happened to the old you that would talk to me, joke with me, cared about me. Ever since I stopped buying you things to save money you’ve been distant and I can’t remember the last time you seemed genuinely happy to talk to me. I thought you were my friend. I can’t even attempt to better myself without you laughing at me. I just want to like my own body and yet you just mocked me. I was so happy to be putting in an effort and you made fun of me. I try to let it just be jokes but it does hurt my feelings. Everytime I try to express and concern you make it about you. I have a right to be upfront and honest. I never said certain things were right away and you know it. I always thought how can you love someone before you love yourself but now I wonder if you can even genuinely be able to love even if platonically. Was it all just to bring me to a false sense of security. Why is it okay to ask if I’d marry or f*** you but if I mention YEARS later I worry if you’d like me back it’s all of a sudden a problem. Don’t get me started on the others. What do they have that I don’t? What makes a manipulator (who you are aware is a manipulator), a selfish prick, or an emotional kiss a** have that I don’t? What’s so wrong with me? One day you’re gonna wish you treated me better and gave me a chance. Not at being a lover but a best friend.