I feel devoid of hope. It seems pointless and wrong to seek out any joy. there’s too much suffering in this world. there’s no way to fix it. there’s no comfort except small fleeting things that don’t matter in the end. I hate feeling so hopeless and helpless, but I don’t have the strength to fight anymore. Call me a coward. you’re right. I’m a filthy spineless coward. I’m sorry. I hate myself.