I love him and I still do and I didn’t think it’d hurt this much. When he broke it off I was so mad and distressed and I couldn’t understand why and when he begged for me back I couldn’t think and I didn’t take him back and I regret it everyday. I dream of his hand holding mine, his voice, his face, our deep late night conversations, everything I experienced with him I miss so much. He caused me so much pain but so much love and he filled a hole in my heart that I didn’t even know I had but now that he’s gone it’s all empty and I don’t know what to do with myself. He got so mad at me when we broke up and it reminded me of my childhood trauma and I can’t go through that again but I want him so badly. Nothing’s the same and everyone’s acting like it is and he’s acting like we never happened and so am I but it’s so so hard everyday I can’t take it anymore I need him. Every time I think I’m moving on I see him again and get reminded of everything I left behind and I hate myself for trying to move on so quickly. We were good together until we weren’t. I love you SM. Always and forever. Forever and ever.