I feel like if maybe just 3 inconveniences hadn’t happened today, I could have made. I would have been able to get through and be fine. But I just broke down, and I keep crying like some pathetic idiot. I keep telling myself, “it doesn’t matter. Your feelings don’t matter right now.” I just need to hold it together a little longer. I can break down in a few days or in a little over a week. I can try to kill myself on my birthday in 2 months – how I want to. Anything. I just have to get through this. But it’s so difficult, and I can’t seem to do anything right. I’m hoping if I cut again it’ll help me get through.