MY MOM WANTED ME TO KILL MYSELF
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I was mentally abused by my mom she used to say “I’m ugly” and I had a lot of acne my senior year of high school and she bought products for my face and got mad at me when they wouldn’t work, i was also in sports, and when I wanted to go to other colleges and play sports there and get an education other than my home towns she said for me to be “realistic.” She would scream at me like if someone was trying to kill her, there came a point where i couldn’t sleep and if i did i’d have nightmares and wake up all covered in sweat I just wanted to unalive myself, and this happened so much , I didn’t defend myself anymore and just wanted to die. She used to push me and grab my face and push me into things, and she tried to provoke me into hitting her, YES i was angry but i didn’t hit her ,after that i just cried until i fell asleep . I’m 20 now and I have no friends or family a I 100 percent trust and i have s** with girls to see if it changes but later i’m disgusted with myself and cant seem to fill that void .