I lost my best friend (a pet) almost two years ago. I honestly forgot in a way for a while, but then I saw a tiktok with her. I felt everything over again. I feel as if I have lost control of the steering wheel, the gas pedal is stuck and I have no breaks, the sky if falling down, everything is a mess. I can’t make it stop. I hate not having that control, because it hurts so f****** bad. I think about ending things a lot more than I should, but I really just want to be back with her, my uncle, KJ. And I feel stupid, but I don’t have a close friend anymore because she wasn’t a good friend (only seemed like one because I had no one). But now I don’t know what to do. My pet was always there for me when people failed to. She was always there for me, until she wasn’t, for good. I miss it. I miss her. I miss who I was before her. I miss feeling happy. I miss not thinking about ending everything every hour. I miss so much that I can’t get back. I don’t have much now. Why am I here?