Today I hit "stop" on the text messages I've been receiving for the past three years of Benny's Brews. I signed up for those when we went to the Beerfest

5 years

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Today I hit “stop” on the text messages I’ve been receiving for the past three years of Benny’s Brews. I signed up for those when we went to the Beerfest at Montage Mountain when we had just started dating. Every Tuesday those texts have dinged my phone and I would remember the fun we had together, then the pain of losing you. It has been 2 years, 6 months, and 29 days since you said, “goodbye.” I think it is time I let you go. No more hanging on to every shred and tatter of our life together and the thought that you would one day change your mind and take me back. You are gone, and I have to be okay with that.

New Confession

To be human is to continually change. Your desire to remain as you are is what ultimately limits you.

The Puppet Master

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even when there’s so many people around me i feel so lonely. i feel like ive always been there for the little things in everyone elses’ life that i forget to be there for myself. ever since my first breakup 3 years ago i’ve always felt like there was an empty void to feel. not the kind of empty void that another person fills but the kind where im ok with my own presence. all my talking stages feel like i’m chasing someone just to make them love me. everyone says im pretty, kind, and caring but i don’t know what im missing that someone else has. maybe its the way i give talking stages my all and the way i show up even when they hurt me hoping that they’ll change. i want a love thats genuine and gentle with my broken heart. not because im desperate but because i want to feel loved the way i love others. im blessed to have a soft heart again and again even when it feels like it should be hard as stone.