im getting extremely depressed, i tried to apply for university and i just cant make it, doesnt matter if i study hard, doesnt matter if i sacrifice my

5 years

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im getting extremely depressed, i tried to apply for university and i just cant make it, doesnt matter if i study hard, doesnt matter if i sacrifice my sleeping time to make my parents happy, it kills me to see them dissapointed at me, im a failure and there is nothing i can do about it, i tried everything, i can see in their faces that they dont want me around anymore.

i wish i instantly grow wings to fly high and never come back, but its never instant, its always painful, if you are still young keep going, dont screw up and make friends and make everyone around you happy, i fucked up and cant go back in time.

New Confession

To be human is to continually change. Your desire to remain as you are is what ultimately limits you.

The Puppet Master

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even when there’s so many people around me i feel so lonely. i feel like ive always been there for the little things in everyone elses’ life that i forget to be there for myself. ever since my first breakup 3 years ago i’ve always felt like there was an empty void to feel. not the kind of empty void that another person fills but the kind where im ok with my own presence. all my talking stages feel like i’m chasing someone just to make them love me. everyone says im pretty, kind, and caring but i don’t know what im missing that someone else has. maybe its the way i give talking stages my all and the way i show up even when they hurt me hoping that they’ll change. i want a love thats genuine and gentle with my broken heart. not because im desperate but because i want to feel loved the way i love others. im blessed to have a soft heart again and again even when it feels like it should be hard as stone.