when I was 8 years old, I discovered p*** on my dad’s laptop. i simply started looking up related p*** topics (s**, girls, etc) (I’m a girl) , and I just couldn’t stop. P*** gave me life and it was something I looked forward to because it was interesting to me and I was a curious, very bored child. but eventually my parents caught me because they looked at the laptop history. and instead of being calm about it, my parents beat me, screamed at me, and shamed me. the shaming and the guilt tripping went on for months, until my next birthday. and when I turned nine, as punishment for my actions, I didn’t receive anything for my birthday. It shattered me to think that my parents would never ever love me again because of what I did. It’s been 6 years and every day I think about it. I try to get behind that memory and see what happened before. But it’s the first memory I remember so vividly. My mother , over the years, has reminded me she could’ve loved me