I realized today that i’m not sad over a silly boy. I’m sad that I didnt have anyone to spend valentines day fantasizing about. I’m over that boy, but thoughts of him linger. I dont necessarily think it’s because I like him, it’s because I wanted someone to think of. And thinking of him has already become a habit, after getting over him it just feels forced. In two day’s it’ll be the 4 months since I went up to him. I know it’s so cliche but I first saw him at a football game. I saw him from far away in the bleachers, I remember shaking my friends and telling them I thought that boy was pretty. They told me he was just a basic white boy but I ignored their remarks. All throughout the game I kept telling my friends that he was so pretty and I loved his nose so much. My friend has a similar nose to him and she’s very insecure about it, but they both have such a beautiful nose. It’s like a greek nose, it has a large bump and a pointed up tip at the end Truthfully, I dont know how to describe it, but it’s such a beautiful nose, I feel envious. Getting back to the story, I didnt ask for his insta and I was devastated, I saw him again but I chickened out AGAIN, never saw him for weeks around school. I thought he just didn’t go there and I was so sad, a few weeks later I saw him in one of the lunch lines while getting a pop tart from a vending machine. My heart was beating so loudly and it hurt my chest. I went up to him and got his instagram. I remember going into the classroom I went to eat lunch at and I told my teacher with a big grin. “I DID IT!!! I’m so brave be proud of me!!” and he said “im proud of you congrats.” I tried hiding it from the teacher that I went up to a boy because it’s kinda uncomfortable for teachers to know on their end yk? But in the end later he said I was brave to go up to someone and I was shook. My face was like that one pikachu meme. I still hold onto this story because it’s my first time experiencing ANYTHING remotely close. It’s very disappointing that nothing happened, I wanted that whole “love at first sight” cliche type of deal you know? (obviously not love but being starstruck) Valentines day was just yesterday and I head two cute love stories, my chem teach didnt finish his story and I was disappointed. But he called her the most beautful and elegant woman he’s ever layed his eyes on. God I wish someone I liked saw me like that. Nobody has ever liked liked me yk? Which s**** but wtv.. I’m just glad that chocolates will be discounted this week 🙂