I launched myself into many large projects after I may have got grey area assaulted (I didn’t know at the time that his d*** was out so it might have gone in), and very soon after possibly assaulted at a party (and sent nudes). This is totally not like me as I am the model student type. I got the award for 3d smartest in the year with an LD and I do music and sports so you’d think I’m pretty put together (especially since I’m working on many important projects outside of school). When I told my friend and sister they both said they weren’t big deals and nothing bad had happened, so I stopped telling people and thinking about it. The worst part about both is that I can’t see it as assault but I also have no idea what happened in both (the one I was conscious for I froze up during). The constant questioning was what was the worst part and I can’t help but be angry at society for making it like that. Idk man, right after the party I was so mad because I had to still write an essay but everytime I tried I would end up just listening to music and thinking. In that month I went through so much istg (loses, addictions (slight), rejections etc.). I mean, in the same day that I was told (by the assaulter) that he assaulted my sister (and I was told to not freak him out and to forgive him btw) I got told I had sent nudes, I had stripped in front of a guy, I had possibly came on to him, all while I was drunk, and the guy who wouldn’t take no for an answer at his house previously told me that the guy that I was talking to (who was really nice and kind) was only using me for my body, and sent proof from his group chat of all of them saying I was getting passed along and easy. I didn’t mention this before but this other guy kept trying to kiss me and touch me when I told him no lmao wtf I am just realizing how many times I’ve been assaulted. I am also working 3 jobs, one of which I’m pretty sure the boss is a p******** and the other one where everyone is a p******** (they sleep with underaged girls and have assaulted them at the workplace in the one place without cameras, the fridge), and I may have and probably will get assaulted there too. I am now addicted to staying busy because I can’t stand being by myself with my thoughts. I still don’t think, although when I say it outloud I kind of see it, that I’ve been through trauma and assault.