i have no idea if this can help me,but i don’t care,i just want to share my feelings. lately everything went downhill since i moved schools. in my first one i barely had any friends, that’s why i decided to move. everything started perfectly,i got new friends,even a gf (i was so happy because we were both girls and shared almost same interests). i was mostly hanging out with her and my bsf. but then my gf started to act really strange. i realized soon that she has mental illness and is on pills(if im not wrong). she was making unnecessary comments about my chest, and literally everything i did. at first i didn’t pay much attention for that,but then it was too much. we were arguing often but then still coming back together. my bsf knew everything about that,but she still was friends with them. and the most important thing is that she said many bad things about her,but when she was hugging her and being friends with her, she said that she has to do nothing with me and my gfs conflict. she was barely the only person i was talking to. soon they weren’t talking that much, and me and them broke up. me and my bsf got closer,i was really happy to have her in my life. but suddenly she starts ignoring me out of nowhere. literally nothing happened, she left me on sent sometimes, but mostly on read. i want to say sorry,but for what? even if I’ll do,will it really change anything? because of that,my mental health got worse,i barely attend school,i don’t have motivation for anything. literally nothing makes me happy anymore. i think of ending it, and all my pain, problems and worries will dissapear. i told about that my mom, because she’s really understanding, and she always supports me no matter what and tries to help me. she got really sad because i was talking with her about killing myself a lot, and also with that my brother is the same as me. i don’t know what to do. I’ve lost every hope. but if I’ll commit,guilt will follow me forever. i hate myself.