Somehow a part of my brain grew to believe that all ugly people are useless…. All people who don’t respect themselves to take care of themselves physically are gross. All ugly people are gross.

I’ve largely gotten passed this through meditation, introspection, self acceptance. I was raised in a rather narcissistic, unstable home. Abusive in a lot of ways – minus s*****, although intrusive on my mastabatory habits (started at age 3 or so), lived in an extremely religious, suppressive maternal household with an emotionally absentee father who just worked a lot, had anger issues.
I dunno man, sometimes I wonder what I would have turned out if I was raised by more stable people/if they were more stable. For THEIR sake, I wish that they were more stable.
Because I can see how much they were in pain.
Because… they were suffering.
And genetics plays a hand.
Yet I had a lot of great traits until I encountered obstacles where that and my environment did not help.
I’m nauseous now and going to sleep. Night yall