5 years
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I cannot help but feel that I’ve ruined my last relationship. We had been going for over 3 fantastic years, little to no issues, except for the usual arguments that everyone should have. Exciting trips, fantastic intimacy, days where we would do nothing but get take-out and relax on the couch together. Upon getting a new exciting job; I found myself pondering too much on the “what if’s” in life, career, relationship, everything. I saw my eye wandering towards other new shiny things.

I felt the need to figure out who I was first, and that she didn’t deserve someone who wasn’t dialed in to having a relationship 100%. I let that culminate into a devastating break-up. We were standing in a Target parking lot, my face overwhelmed with the fear of breaking things off. But I still did it; and, as soon as she drove away, I knew I made a horrible mistake. It took me losing her to realize that I need her in my life.

Through all of the faults that I let cloud my mind, she was always patient, kind, supportive, motivated, attractive as all get-out, and most importantly, she loved me. I hurt her, instead of loving her like God would love me; with patience, kindness, support, and love. I learned really quick. I learned that not everything has to be perfect, you just have to make the best out of what you got with the one you have. That, I did not do.

I’m a believer in God. I want to know more about the relationship I have with Him before I attempted to support a relationship with her. I know that I could not have learned this lesson without learning it the hard way. I trust that His path is greater than my desires, and I pray that one day I can be the man to love her and build a lasting bond.

I want to rediscover her as a better man. I just needed to be that man, first.

Miracles do happen, but there needs to be adversity for the miracle to lift up from.

I love you, Sweet Thing. I miss you so much.

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S** coach/leader of the group of neighborhood married men i kneel for came by yest evenin. Vert angry nut not violently so. He said that the way my ex wife had acted was exactly why he and the other men seek my mouth and do not waste their time cheating with women. He said that no men would visit until he straightened me out and i straightened ex wife out. He told me my ex wife was a taboo topic for the current. That the only way men would return was to do what he expected of me and that the other men agreed to let him handle it as long as they were assurred he had. He insistednwe go to the shed, where i was required to strip and bend over a sawhorse. He closed the shed door as i obeyed making it dark. He set my own phone up with light to spotlight my bate upturned a**, and then took off and laid his belt over the sawhorse next to me. I jumpes out of my skin when he roughly shoved my feet apart then pulled my g******* back behind me and used duct tape around them to hold them protruding. Then i was ordered to put my feel together and he bound my knees tightly trapping my g******* back between my thighs. Bound my wrists in the small of my back. I was terrified but he did not care. Bi was thrashed by his helt on cheeks backs of thighs and g*******. Not without mercy but definitely brutally. I was in tears in momentts and begging for mercy but he just reached around and duct taped over my mouth. I know it was less than 30 minutes but seemed endless. Every time my trapped g******* took a direct hit i was dry heavimg from the gut ache. As he struck he was saying the most vile things….was mot going to risk his life or marriage fir a fsggot cocksucker or my stupid w**** wife. I tried to squirm away but he held me by my hair and kept wailing away with the belt and cursing me and her even though she 2as not there. On and on. I dont know how long i was sobbing and gasping, he finally stopped and as soon as he yanked the tape off my legs i collapsed on the concrete shed floor. He didnt say a word he just unzipped his pants and emptied his bladder on me as i lay there. He pulled me up by my hair to my knees and if a man can be described as m*********** with anger, that is what he did, and sorrayed my face with his seed. Then let go of my hair and let me collapse back on the floor. He picked up my phone ended the video recording and sent it to his own phone. To orove to the other husbands he had handled me. Told me that he expected me to have handled my ex wife by the end of the week and to provide video proofand that the other husbands would see it. He swore to me that as soon as i proved i had handled her that things with the neighborhood husbands would resume. He said that dor now i would be the only d*** my idiot ez wife would be getting that he had definite purely lustful interest in her but he did not feel that he wouls be comfortable with having my ex wife relieve his son of his female virginity and it was not ideal but for now my mouth would have to be his son’s outlet as long as i did what was ezpected with her. I am not afraid to do what is expected but i do not have a solid means of presenting it to her and her agreeing. The only motivator i have is i know how badly my ex wife wants the man who took a belt to me to f*** her again. He wrecked her when he fucked her and she wants more of that. Otherwise it would be s***** to show her my bruised cheeks ans thighs, and my seriously swollen and black and blue testicles. Idk maybe if i let her see the video of what i took for us she would step up for her part in this. Now i am simply aching and feeling guilty because i am in part to blame letting my s** with ex wife and the blow jobs i give these men overlap.